Outwardly, you might come to think old Percy has painted hisself into a corner. What with Curdy invoking the nuclar option, she has done set herself on a course that is gonna force the issue of LeeAnn Pester’s lack of an air conditioner at the Golden Comb Beauty Emporium. Of course, Percy ain’t no rookie at this cause he’s seen the local women folk in action before and knows full well what sort of trouble can come from setting them off…

One of the funny things about living in a small town is the way folks get to know one another in close, personal ways. For instance, everyone knows full well that Earl Pepper was divorced by his former wife, Trisha May back in 1999. But if you was a resident of Possum Rot, you’d also be knowing that it was LeeAnn Pester what was Trisha May’s spiritual advisor. You see, back before LeeAnn took that correspondence course in hair cutting, she was like the local granny, dealing out advice and stirring every pot she could put her nose into. It ain’t no secret here that it was probably at LeeAnn’s coaxing that Trisha May run off with a transient named Harley Drinkwater. And after the divorce was final and old Harley come up missing, it was probably LeeAnn what told the law to look at Earl for answers. But it never came to nothing and Harley was eventually turned up down in a Mississippi cathouse while at home, Trisha May learned from Doc Purvis that she had made herself a home to a mess of crab lice, what no doubt were former pets of Harley Drinkwater. Now as you might imagine, Trisha May was mad at LeeAnn for fixin her up with Harley to begin with and baked her the ex-lax cake for her birthday… what kept her active for several days. LeeAnn responded by filling a hairspray bottle with Nair and sending it to Trisha May who was not seen in public for dern near 3 months!

After that, Trisha May moved to parts unknown and LeeAnn figured she had better cool her socks a bit so she took up barbering. It was bout this time that Curdy and LeeAnn got close and for Christmas of 2003, she had a portable building moved in behind LeeAnn’s trailer so she’d have someplace to practice her new trade and ever since that day, the Golden Comb’s only electrical connection as been from a number of extension cords what run to it from inside her house and go to smoking and sparking when the hairdryer is turned on. I suppose this may be why Percy don’t want to install the air conditioner without a better power connection but Curdy can’t quite get a good grip on this fact so I spect Percy may be thinking that fixing LeeAnn’s problems may be akin to fixing his own…

Well is sure is a blessing to see how Percy and Curdy have taken to computers. When I made this here blog thing for them, I didn’t know iffens they or anyone else would ever use it. To be absolutely honest, there ain’t probably a half dozen computers between any of us. I heard Bucky got one for his business but didn’t know he could use it. Hey Bucky, don’t you go an make Aunt Curdle mad at you or you’ll be shut down just like you was over Easter holiday.

I been playing with some pictures I thought I might share. The first being a map of Bothered Pines. This map was made by Leonard Pepper back in 1977 when he and Percy’s Momma run the park. They had just cleared out the center of the estates of some old trailers and brought in some doublewides. It ain’t changed much since then but get older. They say that Guthrie the Gator was just a pup then and there was a lot of aunts and uncles in the pond with him. Poor old Guthrie ain’t had an honest visitor since Muriel Ledbetter was foolish enough to go skinny dipping with her boyfriend in 1988 and give up a leg whilst trying to get away from one or both of them. (Don’t fret about Muriel, she married her boyfriend, now the Reverend Dandy, and got an artificial limb what she uses to keep her kids in line!)



The second is a copy of a map what was in this building when I bought it in 1985 and opened the hardware store. Folks tell me that this used to be the front office for the sawmill what was run by some yankee company out of Minnesota. But now, no one knows for sure what happened to them because one day, they was just up and gone. They went off and left the mill and a few trucks and a whole lot of saw dust just sit wherever it was. The map don’t show it but Bothered Pines is just at the tip end of Old Poll Road, about a half mile from the RR tracks.

I guess now is as good a time as ever to give y’all a little low-down on our little corner of Alabama. You see, wayyy back during Hoover’s depression, things was really bad down here. Was down right primitive compared to now and to be honest, I wasn’t here back then... but the story goes something like this…

Nobody back then had electricity or indoor water taps or actual-to-goodness bathrooms (ceptin' for outhouses). The roads were mostly old horse trails. But then came Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal and the CCC and WPA. They came a calling and with them came better roads and all kinds of electrical wires, telephone poles and better water too! What they did was to set up base camps along side RR tracks where they could get supplies in and ship stuff out. For the most part, what they shipped was lumber and this area here was prime for that sort of activity. One of them camps was called ‘Possum Trot’ (I have no idea why they named it that) and they was mostly cutting pine trees and sending it to mill.

Another camp just down the road a piece called ‘Redoubt South’ was where the mill was what cut the trees into lumber. It was built over what was once a fort where settlers used to go to hide from the indians and that is where the name come from.

Every thing was perking right along until the war began in 1941 and all the workers left to go fight the Japs and Germans. The old lumber mill was mostly abandoned and the worker’s camp become a ghost town. After the war, the men folks came home and things began to pick up again. The mill was put back to use and a lot of locals got jobs in the lumber trade. The old worker’s camp was taken up by some of those what were both doing the cutting and working the mill. One day, they decided they had themselves a town and wanted to give it a name and it is here where the story makes a slight turn to the left.

You see, during the war when everyone was off fighting, some of the local youguns got it in their heads to have some fun with some whitewash and the sign what used to say ‘Possum Trot’ became a sign that said ‘Possum Rot’. Yup, they painted over the T and thought they had a hoot on their hands, and I guess they did ‘cause when the newly formed town was looking for a name, they looked at that old camp sign first and well, the rest is history.

From there, the folks who lived near the mill weren’t to be outdone and they decided to make a name too but they weren’t too inventive so they decided an idea honoring the old fort was as good as any. So about 5 miles from Possum Rot sprung Redoubt South. And it is here that I came in 1985 and opened the first hardware store.

Percy Pepper and the rest of his Bothered Pines Mobile Home Estates clan keep me in businesses cause most of the time, they are busy keeping the old park up and running. I also have a steady stream of park residents coming in here for stuff like cinder blocks, copper tubing and duct tape. I really ain't got the slightest notion as to what they do with all of it and I don't really care to gain any particular insights either, but they do make an interesting clientele.

Meet the staff

Now then, just ease on over to the rental office and take a seat. Uncle Percy will be with y’all shortly. Be sure to have the first month’s rent in exact cash and ready ‘cause Percy cain’t count too well. Here’s the rules:

No pets. That means no dogs, cats, possums, birds, snakes, gerbils or raccoons are allowed on the premises in any way, shape or form. The sole exception to this rule is cockroach bugs and you’ll be happy to know that you won’t have to look very hard to find a few to make friends with.

Younguns are ok but you gotta keep ‘em under control! We don’t cotton to having a bunch of mealy-mouthed brats running around and creating a ruckus and if we catch one, we gonna feed ‘em to old Guthrie. (Guthrie being the gator down in Mill Silt Pond).

You are required to keep at least one non-running pick-up truck on cinder blocks at all times! This may be displayed in your front yard or driveway. Plain old cars are OK iffens you ain’t got no truck.

Unused, nonworking appliances can be stored on your porch so long as you don’t cover them with nuthin.

You must maintain no less than 12 empty beer cans within eye-shot of the road. Them what are in the back of the broke down truck or car don’t count!

OK, now that you are up on the rules, you can meet the Bothered Pines staff.








PS - He’s got a taste for dogs, preachers, and yankees what get too close.